WW Two too many

Shortly after I got an email from Stephen King, I got an email from Al Gore.  King wanted me to host a party of sorts, even though he has a mansion and I live in a hootch.  And Gore wanted money, even though he makes like a million times as much as I do .  It’s like having two loser friends from college show up on your doorstep on the same day.
Anyway, Gore’s boring email had this: “To those who say that the problems we face are too big for us, I say that we have accepted and successfully met such challenges in the past.
We declared our liberty, and then won it. We designed a country that respected and safeguarded the freedom of individuals. We freed the slaves.  We gave women the right to vote. We took on Jim Crow and segregation. We have won two wars in the Pacific and the Atlantic simultaneously.”
Other than the weird idea that we won World War Two twice (Al, the “Two” means “second” in this case, not that there were two wars going on simultaneously), Al is making the point that what…Democrats can win this election because they freed the slaves?  Sorry Al, Lincoln was a Republican.  Or that Democrats won the Revolutionary War?  Hardly, they weren’t even in existence back then.  How about the women’s right to vote?  Not really…82% of Republicans senators (36 out of 44) voted for the 19th Amendment, and only 54% of the Democratic senators (20 out of 37) voted for the amendment, so I’d have to say that it was the Republicans who got that one through.  Jim Crow and Segregation?  Though they try to pass it off as a fluke, enough words have been written about the southern Democrats’ opposition to civil rights to make mockery of another southern Democrat saying that Democrats ended segregation.  Now about this claim that the US has twice won a two-ocean war simultaneously, well, that’s just stupid.  There’s no need to even comment on someone who can’t remember how many times we have fought World War Two. 

Does Al even realize that of the six efforts he mentions above, four of them were won through the use of arms; and all of them were won only with a huge amount of time, effort, blood, sweat and tears on the part of American men and women?  Not one of those things he mentions was achieved by running away.  So what's your point, Al? 
However, I'll say thanks to Al anyway.  I appreciate the tremendous effort he must have made, bothering to approve such a poorly written, and even more poorly researched, piece of drivel.   
Anything to keep him out of office, I say. 

Comments

[tblubrd]

Holy batmockery, diggsman!

Excellent take on the very same guy who invented the internet with almost as much effort as his "poorly researched, piece of drivel."

On target, as usual. Thanks.

[Agnieszka O.]

What kind of e-mailing list are you on anyway? lol

[MKL]

Someone should remind Gore that all those ships, planes, trucks, tanks, jeeps, weapons carriers etc. didn't have catalytic converters so they helped to destroy the ozone. Cindy Sheehan said we shouldn't have been involved in WW2 and as we know, Cindy has the absolute moral authority so Al owes her an apology...

[MKL]

Oh, that reminds me, I got an email today from "Sgt.Adams Smith" of the 1st Armored Division"

"My name is Adams Smith, I am an American soldier, I am serving in the military of the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, as you know we are being attacked by insurgents everyday and car bombs. We managed to move funds belonging to Saddam Hussein’s family. The total amount is US$25 Million dollars in cash, mostly 100 dollar bills. We want to move this money to you, so that you may invest it for us and keep our share for banking.

We will take 60%, my partner and I. You take the other 40%. No strings attached, just help us move it out of Iraq, Iraq is a war zone. We plan on using diplomatic courier and shipping the money out in one large silver box, using diplomatic immunity."

C'mon Diggs, get some of your loyal readers some of that Hussein money!!